the other side of this life. January 7, 2008
..and would you wanna see
if seeing meant that you would have to believe…?
the past few months,
i’ve been shown things.
i’ve been told things.
i see the angels.
i talk to them.
i help them help people.
i am shown the world that exists parallel to ours.
i am supposed to be special.
i am not supposed to be one of you.
that explains the unusual events that took place in my life.
my loss,
my pain,
my accident,
my heartache,
my loving,
my being loved,
my having love,
my losing love,
my fighting,
my struggle,
my losing hope,
my gaining strength,
my believing in God,
my restoration of faith,
my rising above…
it was all that i had to go through,
to be the person that i am today.
i am told i am man of God.
my gifts.
my abilities.
they are not my reward.
they are my responsibility.
i lived in denial for a long time.
i didn’t admit the things i could do.
i denied that i was in denial.
and like Meredith said in one of the episodes of Grey’s Anatomy:
Sometimes reality has a way of sneaking up and biting us in the ass. And when the dam bursts, all you can do is swim. The world of pretend is a cage, not a cocoon. We can only lie to ourselves for so long. We are tired, we are scared, denying it doesn’t change the truth. Sooner or later we have to put aside our denial and face the world. Head on, guns blazing. De Nile. It’s not just a river in Egypt, it’s a freakin’ ocean. So how do you keep from drowning in it?
i fought with my reality for the most part of my life.
but now,
i have embraced it.
i am special.
i am God’s son.
He calls me His beta.
He tells me He loves me.
He tells me He loves us all.
He tells me to look for the good in everyone.
He tells me to show everyone the good in themselves.
we struggle so much for reason.
for purpose.
for meaning.
and then,
in the end,
it is only to be found in one another.
in each other.
dream.
keep dreaming.
because the dream always come true.
it always shows its face.
the dream does become real.
pray.
pray to God.
ask Him for anything.
ask Him for everything.
thank Him.
know.
know that there is always another way.
the future is not written in stone.
i don’t know how many will ever believe my story.
or the fact that i really do exist.
but some individuals,
it is true,
are more special.
they could be david blaine.
they could be bill gates.
they could be princess diana.
it is natural selection.
it begins as a single individual born like every other human.
anonymous.
seemingly ordinary.
except they’re not.
it’s destiny.
