yesterday i realized more than ever how badly i want to be a dad.
i was asleep when at 4 am there was a knock on my apartment door and one my neighbors,
a single mother,
asked me if i could look after her 2 young kids,
3 and 5 years old (girl and boy respectively),
since she had to rush to the hospital to a friend.
i said of course and got their things and brought them inside.
they lay down and fell asleep almost immediately.
i didn’t even have to do anything really.
but after a while,
the little one woke up.
she was cranky and kept wanting to play.
she was lying on my tummy horizontally playing and after a while,
slept on my tummy like that.
i tried to put her on the mattress but she held on to my shirt so tight i let her be,
and so she slept on me for about 5 hours.
when her mum came and saw all 3 of us sleeping,
especially her daughter on top of me,
she started crying and told me that her kids hadn’t slept this peacefully in 7 months,
ever since their dad left.
when the mum tried to pick up her daughter,
she would start crying and didn’t want to moved.
i sent the mum to her apartment and told her I’ll drop the kids when they wake up.
when we woke up,
the daughter still refused to let go of me,
and kept hugging me so tight.
i told the mum i will take her with me,
it’s not a bother at all,
i have to run a few errands and i will bring her back in a while.
so i spent my entire day with a 3 year old,
and it was undoubtedly one of the best days of my life.
i love kids.
i’m good with them and we get along well.
i cannot wait to have my own little me and mrs.me running around the house.
i want to have hundreds of them,
but i think it might get a little too much for my wife so plan B is to adopt the rest.
i am the only child.
i missed out on everything that brothers and sisters do.
maybe that’s the reason i want to have a houseful of kids.
i don’t know.
i don’t care.
i cannot wait to be a dad.