the sound of music.

i am at your feet November 30, 2006

Filed under: Uncategorized — in2deep @ 10:45 pm


i have never written about S.

i know you all know who she is,
but i have never really written about her.
since today is our anniversary,
and i doubt that i will be giving her any present,
i thought a blog about her would be the perfect little gift.

where do i start from.

she is little.
she is 5 nothing as she always tells me of her height.

she is the one in her group of her friends who is always given the extra mile of attention.
she is the one who is much loved.
she is the one everyone calls when they need to come up with a story to tell their parents.
she is the one everyone calls up to make a plan.

she is a sagittarian too.
her birthday just passed on the 28th of november.
our birthdays are 2 days apart.

she is the sweetest little thing i have ever known.
and i would like to quote an incident to support my statement.

one night last year,
she was going back home from somewhere at 1 with her sister and brother in law,
and there was a kid on the road with no shoes and no sweater on a very cold

december night selling newspapers.
she was 2 minutes away from her house,
so when she got home she asked the brother in law if he would take her back to that kid.
he said yes.
she went inside the house,
got a sweater,
shoes and some clothes and drove back in a hurry praying he hasn’t left.
she found the boy,
got out of the car,
made him wear the sweater and the socks and sent him home.

how many people do you know in this day and age who do that anymore?

i don’t know of anyone.

when she told me what she did,
i fell more in love with her.
everytime i remember that,
i fall just a little more in love with her.

i don’t know of anyone with a faith as strong as hers.

she knows what she believes.
and she sticks to it.
she’s stuck by it for 5 years.

her faith is pure.
her beliefs are powerful.

if it wasn’t for her,
i wouldn’t be the person that i am today.
she has made me a better person.
she has made me a person from a wreck with no aim.
no faith.
no care.
no hope.

she has always been there for me.
she is my bestestest friend.

“you are my best friend..
best friend with benefits..”


she is the only person in the world i have been myself with.
i don’t know what it is about her,
but there is something about her.

maybe it’s the way she laughs..
maybe it’s the way she tells me she loves me..
maybe it’s the sweetness in her voice…

we have no secrets.
we tell each other every little thing.
and that’s something that i learnt from her.
she tells me every single thing about her day,
not because she is supposed to,
but because that’s the way she is.

it doesn’t matter how silly a thing is.
we always tell each other.
i’m still learning though.

we never get sick of talking to each other.
it’s been almost 5 years (mashallah)
and her story remains the same.

baby its 130am/2am/3am/4am/430am,
i have to wake up for work at 830.
and i say meri jaan let’s go/go/you have work in the morning/lets get in bed,
and she says but aap say baat kartee jaanee hai.
(but i want to keep talking to you)


it never fails.
it’s still the same.
and the next day it’s still the same conversation.

“baby did you wake up araam say in the morning?”

“uff jaan you don’t understand.
i just couldn’t wake up.”

“i told you at 12 lets go and you said no i want to talk to you.”

“haan baby, you are so kind. so sweet.”

“but i am:)”

“i swear if you were in front of me i would’ve smacked you so hard”

the conversation ends with me laughing,
or what is better known as “the bastard laugh.”
and then a few laadis and na karos and acha naaas and it’s all okay again:)

she makes me want to take care of her.
i want to wrap my arms around her,
and hide her from the world.

i’m going to take her away from everything and everyone.

we need atleast 7-8 years to ourselves.
just to make up for all this time,
and all these years.
and inshallah we will.

she’s so good for me.

i know that she’s the one for me.

i know she’s my one.
i know she’s the one i’m going to end up with.
i know she’s the one i’m supposed to end up with.

she is my little baby.
my little sweetheart.
my littlebug.
my mano.
my sunshine.
my moonlight.
she’s my dream.
she’s the lyrics to all my songs.
she’s the reason i am.
she’s all my reasons.
she’s my jaan.
she’s my chonee.
she’s my jia.
she’s my best friend.
she’s my family.
she’s my home.
she’s my life.
she’s my hope.
she’s my faith.
she’s my love.
she’s my destiny.

Joyful the moment when we sat in the bower, Thou and I;
In two forms and with two faces – with one soul, Thou and I.

The color of the garden and the song of the birds give the elixir of immortality;
The instant we come into the orchard, Thou and I.

The stars of Heaven come out to look upon us –
We shall show the moon herself to them, Thou and I.

Thou and I, with no ‘Thou’ or ‘I’, shall become one through our tasting;
Happy, safe from idle talking, Thou and I.

The spirited parrots of heaven will envy us –
When we shall laugh in such a way, Thou and I.

This is stranger, that Thou and I, in this corner here…
Are both in one breath here and there – Thou and I.

you make me belong.


Blogwordoftheday: Really November 29, 2006

Filed under: Uncategorized — in2deep @ 9:00 pm

i want to be with you.
i want to spend the rest of my life with you.
i want to dance all my dances with you.

i know you’re worth all this wait.

iloveyou baby,
i really do.

(i know it’s the cheesiest post that you’ve probably ever read but it’s true.)



Filed under: Uncategorized — in2deep @ 9:14 am

my verdict came out last night.

i have won my case.

i haven’t slept all night,
i will write the details of the verdict when i wake up.

i’m a free man.

i wish you guys knew what that feels like.


thankyou for all the prayers and wishes.

God Bless.


happy birthday? November 27, 2006

Filed under: Uncategorized — in2deep @ 10:19 pm

it was my birthday yesterday.
extremely unhappy with all my blogger friends.


i make miracles like i walk on water November 23, 2006

Filed under: Uncategorized — in2deep @ 6:04 pm

last night,
before going to sleep i decided that tomorrow i will wake up early and get myself a life.

i got serious scolding from M last night.
she asked me if i was getting my physio done and if i had tried to walk again,
my answer was no.

she gave me hell for that.
and i decided it’s time.

and today,
i did exactly that.

i woke up at 2pm instead of my usual 7pm.
i had lunch and after that i got my physio done for 45 minutes.

since i was getting it done after so long,
i wanted to take it slow.

then at 530,
i went back for my physio.
i got it done for another half hour,
after which i decided to stand up.

i didn’t want to give it a shot.
i decided that today i will stand up.

after trying for one whole hour,
trying to balance my left leg,
i stood up.
and kept my balance too.

the only reason i was not trying to stand up and walk was because my left side had become paralyzed again after the very recent incident where i got shot.
but a couple of days ago,
my left leg started to hurt.

pain is always a great thing for me.

i felt the pain for a long long time.
which meant that my nerves are alive and kickin’.

by 640ish,
i had stood up.
and i kept my balance.
i didn’t want to go overboard,
so i tried to take just a few steps.

and i did.

i managed to take 2 baby steps.


for a normal person,
two steps is nothing.
you probably don’t even get anywhere in two steps.
but for me..
those two steps are the world.

when i will tell S and even M about those two steps,
they will understand.
and they will be the happiest people in the world with me.
they will be proud of me,
and they will tell me where all these two little baby steps can take me.

for me,
it has always been a matter of time.
once i decide that i have to do something,
i do it.

and every single time,
it has been no less than a miracle.

i lead a life in which every single day brings with it,
a miracle.

a miracle as big as me surviving the gunshots.
and as small as waking up every single day.

my verdicts expected to come out tomorrow.
inshallah it will go great,
and that will be the end of the longest chapter of my life.

and then i will sing this song.

“This is the moment, this is the day
When I send all my doubts and demons on their way
Every endeavor I have made ever
Is comin’ into play, is here and now today

This is the moment, this is the time
When the momentum and the moment are in rhyme
Give me this moment, this precious chance
I’ll gather up my past and make some sense at last

This is the moment when all I’ve done
When all the dreamin’, schemin’ and screaming become one
This is the day, see it sparkle and shine
When all I’ve lived for becomes mine

For all these years, I’ve faced the world alone
And now that the time has come to prove to them I’ve made it on my own

This is the moment, my final test
Destiny beckoned, I never reckoned second best
I won’t look down, I must not fall
This is the moment, the sweetest moment of them all

This is the moment, damn all the odds
This day or never, I’ll sit forever with the gods
When I look back, I will always recall
Moment for moment, this was the moment, the greatest moment of them all”


Blogwordoftheday: Secret November 22, 2006

Filed under: Uncategorized — in2deep @ 6:59 pm

i don’t have a secret,
but here is victoria’s secret;

hahahaha i love blogwords!


days of the new November 21, 2006

Filed under: Uncategorized — in2deep @ 10:11 pm

i have been sleeping through the days ever since saturday.

i sleep at 2-3 am,
and i wake up at 7 in the evening.
i have messed up my whole routine because of the hearings.

i have no life.
i sleep.
i wake up.
i have chae.
i eat.
i talk to S.
i go to sleep.
then i wake up in the evening the next day.

i know the art of sleeping.
if noone wakes me,
i can sleep for 3 days at a stretch.

people hate me for it.
but i love it.

so i don’t know who all read my blogs reviews.
what i don’t understand is if you hate it so much,
why bother reading it?

if you find my writings,
sorry my bad.
my “poetry” such a drag then DON’T READ IT.


how much time do you people have on your hands?
i thought i was leading a lame life.
it makes me feel better knowing there are bigger lamesters out there.


so yesterday i got two different e-mails from two different companies telling me i have won their lottery.
i won 750,000 pounds through the first lottery,
and 2,500,000 pounds through the second lottery.

that’s fucking hell of a lot of money!

all fraud ofcourse.
but it left me feeling lucky.


winters are here.
i took the razaaee last night instead of a blanket.
loved it.

i love the razaaees.
i love winters.

hmmm…my birthday is on sunday,

i’m going to be very old.

and i’m expecting everyone and anyone who reads my blog,
or visits it on sunday to wish me a very happy birrrrrrday.

now i need to get back to signing crappy documents which need my immediate attention.