I breathe for my own necessity,
for the fuel of my body,
for my survival..
I’ve given you,
not my sacrifice or my pity,
but my ego and my naked knee..
i love you.
Nothing can matter to me – not even you.
Can you understand that?
Only my love – not your answer.
Not even your indifference.
I’ve never taken much from the world.
I havent wanted much.
I’ve never really wanted anything.
Not in the total,
undivided way,
not with the kind of desire that becomes an ultimatum,
yes or no,
and one cant accept the no without ceasing to exist.
That’s what you are to me.
But when one reaches that stage,
it’s not the object that matters,
it’s the desire.
Not you, but I.
The ability to desire like that.
Nothing less is worth feeling or honouring.
And I have never felt that before.
I’ve never known how to say “mine” about anything.
Not in the sense I say it about you.
Mine.
Did you call it a sense of life as exaltation?
You said that.
You understand that?
I can’t be afraid.
I love you.
